i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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