i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
