"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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