my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
