so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
