...so i touched it.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
