I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
