i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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