period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
So. Much. Porn.
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