You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I think my moral compass just broke
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