So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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