plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
