We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
