problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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