we have pet lesbian snakes
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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