So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
