Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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