the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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