he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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