She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
