Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
