Don't you send me to vm
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
