and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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