There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
tell me about the eggs
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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