Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Mom said you looked used
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Dicks are not precious.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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