Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
