I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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