Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
My life is pants optional.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
