i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
