I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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