I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
