I wish my penis had an off switch
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
