next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
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