Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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