Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
