are you still at the devil's house?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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