You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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