So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
