Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
