so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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