pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
