you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
