so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
