if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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