Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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