Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
