Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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