is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
