I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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