i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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