You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Randomize
