Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
