Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
