hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
my shit smells like andre
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Randomize
