there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Drunk is not a location!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
